The Funniest Tweets of the Week
Photo by John-Michael Bond
This week’s Tweets of the week feels like a smorgasbord of darkness. The world’s most famous pedophile mysteriously died in jail, fish got thrown in tubes, plastic surgery took some hard left turns, and the internet was ready to riff about it. We’ll bring you lighter Tweets when the world stops burning. Remember, these people Tweet for free so the least you can do is give them a follow if you laugh. Here are the funniest Tweets of the week.
I am CRYING laughing at this like imagine being a fish and minding your own business but humans fucked up the world so bad that their version of helping you is launching you through a giant silly straw https://t.co/7UppI0r3IM
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) August 11, 2019
A regular brought a date into the bar and when he went to the bathroom, she asked, “Does he bring a lot of women in here?” and I said, “Not as many as you’d think!”
And she seemed to like that answer!— Steve Hernandez (@BigHern) August 10, 2019
this social media manager said fuck it, i’m tweeting the truth today https://t.co/286CIiUcj4
— noor (@nooralsibai) August 10, 2019
“there are at least three” is admittedly the funniest thing a political candidate has ever said about gender https://t.co/crgXpiqzoR
— ds9 se01ep10 move along home defender (@defundpoppunk) August 10, 2019
Today my Uber driver told me that there’s an outbreak of armadillos infected with leprosy in Nashville and on the same day as Epstein suicide and Miley and Liam breakup I feel unsafe in this country
— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) August 11, 2019